unspoken reflections of my heart
Archive for May, 2008
programming jokes
May 23rd
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.
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Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”
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The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.
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Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
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Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
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Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”
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How many programmers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardware problem
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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
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From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary:
Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.
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Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”
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the paradox of life
May 14th
The paradox of our time in history:
The result of separateness is taller buildings and shorter tempers.
There are wider freeways but narrower viewpoints.
More is spent, but less is noticed;
Some drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and seldom pray. We have multiplied our possessions and have superficial values.
We talk too much but seldom feel love, we deny our experience but accept it less. We believe this is a part of us.
We’ve learned how to make a living but have lost the fruit of life.
We measure life in years instead of life in life.
A man can travel into space but can still have trouble crossing street to meet a new neighbour.
Some have been to outer space, whilst being unaware that inner space is.
We have all done things and assigned value to them, we judge in terms of value.
The soul has been covered up by the illusion.
We’ve conquered the atom, but do not realised we are the atom.
We write more but can’t see why we understand less.
We plan more but miss the point.
We’ve learned to rush, but we never make it.
More computers are built and more people are buying them,
We communicate less and less but the supply is still meeting the demand.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes.
These are time of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small characters, steep profits and shallow relationships and judgements that hold them together.
These are the days of instant gratification, disposable values, ambiguous moral conditions, sexual suppression, progression, pills that do everything.
It is a time when there is much in the show room window and nothing in the stock room.
A time when technology can bring an e-mail across the globe in seconds and a time where we take life for granted.
But you can change all this by remembering a few things:
Be able to say “I love you” to yourself as this is a powerful thing. Love is actually a default emotion.
To deny this is a lie, the construct of mind covers it up.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to express yourself freely in the moment, to live as every moment is the first. Many feel they need to confront life, but life already is, life is as we speak.
Western culture seldom confronts death until it has arrived.
See it today, and life will shine though.
No matter who you think you are or what you think has mattered;
Give time to express, give time to speak, and give less time to that which separates and stops you.
If we suddenly think of time through thought, then we have lost what really matters.
We will experience a feeling, no matter how much we think or understand, that is relentless and unforgiving.
This feeling will always be whilst separateness exists.
We lose all that matters in this place.
Buildings are reduced to buildings, people are reduced to objects and the light of life is covered by clouds, a disposable means to an end.
Start living
Peace.
( ripped off a mail )
the pursuit of happiness
May 14th
There has been a question that has long intrigued me … What is happiness and where can I find happiness ? One might define happiness as a life without worries and hardships. But is there such a life ? Who in this world does not have worries ? Life loses its essence if there are no challenges in it. Life would be dull.
How do you feel when you are happy ? You feel like smiling ? You wish to scream with joy ? You feel like speaking about it to someone ? And you call all this happiness ? No.
What is happiness ? Leading a luxurious life, worrying every moment whether we might lose the luxury ? Or living a contented life ? Do you feel happy when you spend time with friends at huge malls or cinema ? Or are you happy when you play cricket with neighbourhood boys ? Are you happy when you do well in exams ? Are you happy when you are praised ? Do these give you true happiness ? No. These are just feigning happiness.
So now, where does the road to happiness end ?
I feel that happiness is derived from happiness. You feel happy when you make others feel happy. You feel happy when you see a smile in the face of the person in front of you. Happiness is the feeling that you have played a small part in helping the other person feel less burdened with worries. And helping people without expecting anything in return will automatically give you happiness in return.
Give the most you can to people who are around you. Live a life for yourself and for others.
Now what to give others ? Money or food or anything else that occupies volume can be given, but they aren’t the ones that give you happiness. Give the person something which no one else can give him/her. Give them YOUR affection. Share the sorrows of friends. Share their pain. Share their joy. Share their feelings. Be a part of them. They will surely be a part of your life for ever. What else is happiness… ?
Sometimes words can heal the wounds of the heart. Sometimes your eyes can heal them. Sometimes your touch. And sometimes your presence close by alone is sufficient. Sometimes your prayers will work wonders.
We all pray God that everyone must be happy. But being happy is in our hands. Live a life of affection and love. Be happy. Keep others happy. Happiness is a gift from God. And happiness is the best gift you can give anyone….
“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude…”
-Denis Waitley
math myth – 1
May 13th
- All square numbers have odd number of factors. All other numbers have even number of factors.
- To check whether a number is prime, it is sufficient to check its divisibiliy by all prime numbers less than square root of the number.
- A number n is a sum of two squares if and only if all prime factors of n of the form 4m+3 have even exponent in the prime factorization of n.
- if p is a prime number, then for any integer a, ap ? a will be evenly divisible by p. This can be expressed in the notation of modular arithmetic as follows.
ap ? a (mod p) . This is Fermat’s Little Theorem. - If an integer n is greater than 2, then the equation an + bn = cn has no solutions in non-zero integers a, b, and c. This is Fermat’s Last Theorem.
