Category Archives: Life

A Matter of Time

It has just begun. It is beautiful. It is unusually different. It is exciting. It feels special. It is nice. It is sweet. It is happiness. It is lovely. It brings a smile. It will not change. It is just that!

It gives fear. It instils responsibility. It demands enormous patience. It is time-bound. It necessitates thinking. It needs a level-headed approach. It is not confirmed. It is not assurance. It should not change. It is an idea. It is a chance, a probability, in turn, a possibility. It is a wait. It is a penance of sorts. It is a test. It is life!

So now, it is all a matter of time. Patience.

[ Adapted from a friend's blog, with permission ]

Feel So Low

So see how long I can last
You can pretend that I don’t exist for you
And I can laugh about it now
But I hated every minute
I was waiting for your email
And each day that you forgot to call
Just made me feel so low
So low

Christmas 1998
I tried to call
I just couldn’t wait
And your message was out of date
So I left my voice on your machine
But you did not respond
OK OK OK you’ve won
You make me feel so low
So low

A song that moved me very much.

Porcupine Tree – Lightbulb Sun – Feel So Low

the cake

my first b’day cake

My first ever Birthday Cake !!!

And what a nice way to celebrate !! In Bangalore, terrace of Goldman Sachs office building, after sunset. How better could it have been !

“Haven’t you ever cut a birthday cake before??” – Nope. Am a first timer. And probably a long wait for a party like this !

It was a quite unexpected party thrown in by friends, fellow interns and seniors. And special thanks for all, for having wisely decided against giving me bumps.

And the chocolate cake – it was really awesome !!!

slow down


Pragyan ’09 – design, posters, pamphlets, brochures, invites, cards, banners, backdrops … Workshops, JavaFX, website management, registration, osum, software installation, hall arrangement, projector, screen, transport for guests, publicity, cd distribution, certificates, reports … Sun Club – formation, induction, question paper setting, evaluation, team, meetings, projects, Netbeans, Opensolaris, Java, website development, cms, svn, member certificates, workshops, Java ME, permission letters, posters, reports … Vortex – design, workshop, flash programming, logo … Music Troupe – Saarang, new songs, compose, notes, practice sessions … Academics – class notes, photocopies, CPCs, cycle tests, class tests, CAT classes, seminars, assignments … Entertainment – Movies, Serials, Boston Legal, Heroes, NFS, slumber, novels, newspapers, BusinessLine, blogging …

Oh God … I really need to slow down …

remembering 2008

The year 2008 was an eventful year for me. This was an year which provided me with loads of opportunities and challenges. This year played a significant role in crafting the course of my life in the right direction. 

I got the chance to do an internship at IIT Madras during summer. I learnt loads under the guidance of Dr. C. Pandurangan. I studied about cryptography and advanced algorithms. Those two months helped me learn loads and improve my knowledge. 

Probably the first ever interview I had faced was the telephone interview for the post of Campus Ambassador for Sun Microsystems. After a few initial confusions, I was selected. And then I was called to Noida for a three day training programme. This trip turned out to be the one most memorable trips. The trip helped me learn loads, enjoy loads and also brought me loads of friends. It was an event which i will never forget. I am working for Sun, conducting workshops and seminars in college and also utilizing this opportunity to learn and improve. 

The next interview was for the Goldman Sachs summer internship. Almost 200 students wrote the written exam out of which 16 of us were selected for the next round. The group discussion round was the first for me. Then came the interview, which was conducted at 12:30, midnight !! I really liked the interview session, remained cool and answered the questions. I liked the smooth way in which the conversation proceeded in the room, despite it being a really odd time of the day. When they announced that I was one among the five who were selected for the summer ’09 internship, I literally jumped in joy…

Probably the most unexpected jolt was my dad’s transfer to Thanjavur. It is really hard for anyone to bid goodbye to Chennai. We had to forgo loads of things – music concerts in sabhas, the beach, weekend dinner at hotels, meeting friends, visit to temples… The shift from the vibrant energetic and musical life of Chennai to the rather silent and boring life of Thanjavur was really difficult. 

Music suffered a great setback this year. On September 8, my Guru, Padmashri Dr. Kunnakudi Vaidyanathan passed away. It still pains me to think that he is gone. He was the master who brought out the talent in me. He provided me loads of opportunities to accompany him on the violin. I performed many concerts in 2008 along with my Guru, in Bangalore, Andhra and Tamil Nadu. In fact, I even accompanied him in his last public concert. His demise has been a great loss for me, for all his students, his family and the world of music.

The Thyagaraja Aradhana was conducted in my college. Along with the event, competitions were also orgaized for the school children. I was also made the vice President of Amruthavarshini, the Carnatic Music Club of NITT. I was also included as a member of the Music Troupe of my college. Then there was the JIPMER culturals in September where our college team won the first place in the instrumentals category in which I participated. But there is more to it. The event brought me and my childhood friend together…

My first trip to Chennai after shifting residence to Thanjavur was on December 21. I had been to Chennai for a concert at Kunnakudi Hall, Raga Research Center. December 21 and 22 were two of my happiest days. On those two days I met all my friends in Chennai, spent time with them after a really long time. I only wish I will meet them again soon. 

And the last day of 2008, today, my semester results….9.73.. much more than what i expected… 



Had there been a rewind button…

Many a times we might have pondered over why God failed to create a rewind button for our lives. A peep into our own past might bring back the treasured memories from the pages of our lives. If every human is given a chance to go back to his past, make some changes and come back to the present, would life be any better?

Life is a mixture of happiness and sorrow, anger and calmness, friends and foes, good and bad. The challenge is to have the right mix of all these, with the ability to cherish the good and brave the bad. A life without challenges is not worth living. To emerge a winner, we need to adapt and evolve. We need to have a good control of everything that our life provides us. Losing confidence over ourselves just indicates that we have surrendered to our own life.

Some say that there exists a hypothetical parallel universe; a correlation between mind and matter. Is there an option for us to co-exist in a different universe? Can we modify the other life of ours so that the present life is accordingly influenced? Something like an alternate reality? Probably it might give us a different perspective of our own life? The time travel, the alternate history, the bending of space – all these might seem like a fantasy, an imagination of a mind craving for change, longing for a new past. But we are forced to accept the fact that there is only one reality – the present. The past cannot be changed, but the present will change the future. The history books are not going to be changed, neither are our memories. Our past is permanent, the present is temporary and the future is undefined.

We always want everyone around us to be happy, to be cheerful. We always try to make sure our loved ones are happy. We love to see a smile on their faces. But then, things do not always happen the way we expect them to. We might have hurt others. We might have made our loved ones cry. We might have caused pain. But, if we are given a chance to rectify our errors, we would embrace the opportunity, go back to those days and redesign our lives. But God gives us no such option. We are not given an option to forget either. The memories haunt us, remind us about our mistakes. The tears might have dried, the pain might have subsided, but the scars would remain.

God made human a ‘Creator’. We create our own life. We shape ourselves. We have moulded this world into what it is today. Every human shares the responsibility for the past, present and the future. But we were never meant to be ‘Editors’. Words spoken and actions done cannot be changed. The moments that have passed are the moments we have lost. There isn’t a second chance. Life has no trial run.

In the end, it is always chaos. Randomness exists everywhere. But there emerges a pattern – a chain of events revolving around us. We have been directing the events during different phases of our life. We have been bending them to suit our needs. But are we really in control of it? If everyone transforms the world to his own needs, there might have been millions of worlds today – A divide between every single person, a boundary for our minds, a wall around us. What we are bending is our own perception of the world. We have the power of imagination. We have the ability to dream. Our world, our imagination, and our dreams – everything is virtual. They occupy no space or volume, but are powerful enough to change our lives and our destiny.

Every piece on a chess board stands on its own. A glance at the chess board while the game is in progress will give us very little clue about the random arrangement of the pieces. But, every game has a similar start and every move is based on a strategy. Our life is like a chess game. The events happening in our present might seem to be unrelated. But the game of life depends upon every move of ours, every strategy we adopt and every step we advance. Our thoughts decide our actions. Our actions determine our fate. Our fate crafts our destiny. But we must always remember that there is never a step backward…


anger management

Have you ever noticed how water flows ? What would happen if there is a huge stone blocking its path ? Never would it try to go through the rock. It rather would flow gently along its sides, doing no harm to the rock. This character of water must teach us something.

Bombard against anything, but not against a stone wall. It is you who would get hurt, and not the wall. Patience is a virtue. Controlling ones emotions is another. Giving vent to anger then and there will do no good. It will harm you and the people around you.

There are people in this society who would love to help you. There are people out there who might cause harm, intentionally or otherwise. There is no use in being infuriated by the actions of such people. Maybe they had a genuine reason for their actions. Or it is possible that their actions were unavoidable. Or they might not be fortunate enough to love and be loved.

There is corruption everywhere. Many minds are corrupted. Many hands are corrupted. Every time we find something wrong happening, we get furious. Our conscience forces us to attack, to fight. But sometimes, we must think whether it is worth attacking, worth showing force. The world is never going to change if it is anger that is rooted in the minds of the reformers.

The best way to attack is to do good, to spread love. To make people realize their mistakes by themselves, To make people feel ashamed by their own acts. We must help them to change their path. This is the Gandhian way of life. No one would get hurt, No one would feel bad. Everything would end on a happy note.

Angry words and angry deeds would bring us more enemies than friends. It would make us distance away from the good things in this world. It would snatch happiness away from us. It is never wrong to get angry. But one should know to control anger. Don’t let anger storm out of you every time. Don’t let it do any harm.

When there is something good that you have lost, don’t get angry. Be patient. There is something better coming towards you. Keep smiling. Spread happiness. Be like water, flow along the sides of the rock, In due course of time, the rock would get eroded by the flow of water and the path would be clear.