Tag Archives: Life

With loads of love

Am I living a dream, or am I dreaming a life,
Am I dreaming a life, a life with you,
A life with you, in this beautiful world,
In this beautiful world, I am living a dream.

Let the daffodils sway with their yellow might,
And the roses spread the fragrance of love,
Let the stars sprinkle their shimmering light,
And the guardian angels guide from above.

Where can I find you, my precious art ?
Where can I see you, are you in my heart ?
The wind whispers to me, the nature whispers to me,
That love is in my heart, and love is in my eyes.

Will I get some space, in your beautiful eyes ?
Will I get some share, in your demure smile ?
Will I get some love, in your tender words ?
Will I be a part, in your blissful life ?

A favour I ask, from the Master above,
To fill this world with lots of love,
With you and me alone in the vicinity,
From the twelfth of march to eternity.

the clarity of passion

the clarity of passion

“What I’m trying to say is, I understand a feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places that you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get or gyms you join or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy? And sometimes you can even convince yourself that (s)he’ll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long ‘all that’ may be, you’ll go somewhere new, and you’ll meet people who’ll make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back; and all those fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted – that would eventually begin to fade.”

[Adapted from the film, "The Holiday". Monologue by Kate Winslet]

Here is the video:

remembering 2008

The year 2008 was an eventful year for me. This was an year which provided me with loads of opportunities and challenges. This year played a significant role in crafting the course of my life in the right direction. 

I got the chance to do an internship at IIT Madras during summer. I learnt loads under the guidance of Dr. C. Pandurangan. I studied about cryptography and advanced algorithms. Those two months helped me learn loads and improve my knowledge. 

Probably the first ever interview I had faced was the telephone interview for the post of Campus Ambassador for Sun Microsystems. After a few initial confusions, I was selected. And then I was called to Noida for a three day training programme. This trip turned out to be the one most memorable trips. The trip helped me learn loads, enjoy loads and also brought me loads of friends. It was an event which i will never forget. I am working for Sun, conducting workshops and seminars in college and also utilizing this opportunity to learn and improve. 

The next interview was for the Goldman Sachs summer internship. Almost 200 students wrote the written exam out of which 16 of us were selected for the next round. The group discussion round was the first for me. Then came the interview, which was conducted at 12:30, midnight !! I really liked the interview session, remained cool and answered the questions. I liked the smooth way in which the conversation proceeded in the room, despite it being a really odd time of the day. When they announced that I was one among the five who were selected for the summer ’09 internship, I literally jumped in joy…

Probably the most unexpected jolt was my dad’s transfer to Thanjavur. It is really hard for anyone to bid goodbye to Chennai. We had to forgo loads of things – music concerts in sabhas, the beach, weekend dinner at hotels, meeting friends, visit to temples… The shift from the vibrant energetic and musical life of Chennai to the rather silent and boring life of Thanjavur was really difficult. 

Music suffered a great setback this year. On September 8, my Guru, Padmashri Dr. Kunnakudi Vaidyanathan passed away. It still pains me to think that he is gone. He was the master who brought out the talent in me. He provided me loads of opportunities to accompany him on the violin. I performed many concerts in 2008 along with my Guru, in Bangalore, Andhra and Tamil Nadu. In fact, I even accompanied him in his last public concert. His demise has been a great loss for me, for all his students, his family and the world of music.

The Thyagaraja Aradhana was conducted in my college. Along with the event, competitions were also orgaized for the school children. I was also made the vice President of Amruthavarshini, the Carnatic Music Club of NITT. I was also included as a member of the Music Troupe of my college. Then there was the JIPMER culturals in September where our college team won the first place in the instrumentals category in which I participated. But there is more to it. The event brought me and my childhood friend together…

My first trip to Chennai after shifting residence to Thanjavur was on December 21. I had been to Chennai for a concert at Kunnakudi Hall, Raga Research Center. December 21 and 22 were two of my happiest days. On those two days I met all my friends in Chennai, spent time with them after a really long time. I only wish I will meet them again soon. 

And the last day of 2008, today, my semester results….9.73.. much more than what i expected… 



Had there been a rewind button…

Many a times we might have pondered over why God failed to create a rewind button for our lives. A peep into our own past might bring back the treasured memories from the pages of our lives. If every human is given a chance to go back to his past, make some changes and come back to the present, would life be any better?

Life is a mixture of happiness and sorrow, anger and calmness, friends and foes, good and bad. The challenge is to have the right mix of all these, with the ability to cherish the good and brave the bad. A life without challenges is not worth living. To emerge a winner, we need to adapt and evolve. We need to have a good control of everything that our life provides us. Losing confidence over ourselves just indicates that we have surrendered to our own life.

Some say that there exists a hypothetical parallel universe; a correlation between mind and matter. Is there an option for us to co-exist in a different universe? Can we modify the other life of ours so that the present life is accordingly influenced? Something like an alternate reality? Probably it might give us a different perspective of our own life? The time travel, the alternate history, the bending of space – all these might seem like a fantasy, an imagination of a mind craving for change, longing for a new past. But we are forced to accept the fact that there is only one reality – the present. The past cannot be changed, but the present will change the future. The history books are not going to be changed, neither are our memories. Our past is permanent, the present is temporary and the future is undefined.

We always want everyone around us to be happy, to be cheerful. We always try to make sure our loved ones are happy. We love to see a smile on their faces. But then, things do not always happen the way we expect them to. We might have hurt others. We might have made our loved ones cry. We might have caused pain. But, if we are given a chance to rectify our errors, we would embrace the opportunity, go back to those days and redesign our lives. But God gives us no such option. We are not given an option to forget either. The memories haunt us, remind us about our mistakes. The tears might have dried, the pain might have subsided, but the scars would remain.

God made human a ‘Creator’. We create our own life. We shape ourselves. We have moulded this world into what it is today. Every human shares the responsibility for the past, present and the future. But we were never meant to be ‘Editors’. Words spoken and actions done cannot be changed. The moments that have passed are the moments we have lost. There isn’t a second chance. Life has no trial run.

In the end, it is always chaos. Randomness exists everywhere. But there emerges a pattern – a chain of events revolving around us. We have been directing the events during different phases of our life. We have been bending them to suit our needs. But are we really in control of it? If everyone transforms the world to his own needs, there might have been millions of worlds today – A divide between every single person, a boundary for our minds, a wall around us. What we are bending is our own perception of the world. We have the power of imagination. We have the ability to dream. Our world, our imagination, and our dreams – everything is virtual. They occupy no space or volume, but are powerful enough to change our lives and our destiny.

Every piece on a chess board stands on its own. A glance at the chess board while the game is in progress will give us very little clue about the random arrangement of the pieces. But, every game has a similar start and every move is based on a strategy. Our life is like a chess game. The events happening in our present might seem to be unrelated. But the game of life depends upon every move of ours, every strategy we adopt and every step we advance. Our thoughts decide our actions. Our actions determine our fate. Our fate crafts our destiny. But we must always remember that there is never a step backward…

the paradox of life

The paradox of our time in history:

The result of separateness is taller buildings and shorter tempers.
There are wider freeways but narrower viewpoints.
More is spent, but less is noticed;
Some drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and seldom pray. We have multiplied our possessions and have superficial values.
We talk too much but seldom feel love, we deny our experience but accept it less. We believe this is a part of us.

We’ve learned how to make a living but have lost the fruit of life.
We measure life in years instead of life in life.
A man can travel into space but can still have trouble crossing street to meet a new neighbour.

Some have been to outer space, whilst being unaware that inner space is.
We have all done things and assigned value to them, we judge in terms of value.
The soul has been covered up by the illusion.
We’ve conquered the atom, but do not realised we are the atom.

We write more but can’t see why we understand less.
We plan more but miss the point.
We’ve learned to rush, but we never make it.
More computers are built and more people are buying them,
We communicate less and less but the supply is still meeting the demand.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes.
These are time of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small characters, steep profits and shallow relationships and judgements that hold them together.

These are the days of instant gratification, disposable values, ambiguous moral conditions, sexual suppression, progression, pills that do everything.
It is a time when there is much in the show room window and nothing in the stock room.
A time when technology can bring an e-mail across the globe in seconds and a time where we take life for granted.

But you can change all this by remembering a few things:

Be able to say “I love you” to yourself as this is a powerful thing. Love is actually a default emotion.
To deny this is a lie, the construct of mind covers it up.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to express yourself freely in the moment, to live as every moment is the first. Many feel they need to confront life, but life already is, life is as we speak.
Western culture seldom confronts death until it has arrived.
See it today, and life will shine though.
No matter who you think you are or what you think has mattered;
Give time to express, give time to speak, and give less time to that which separates and stops you.

If we suddenly think of time through thought, then we have lost what really matters.
We will experience a feeling, no matter how much we think or understand, that is relentless and unforgiving.
This feeling will always be whilst separateness exists.
We lose all that matters in this place.
Buildings are reduced to buildings, people are reduced to objects and the light of life is covered by clouds, a disposable means to an end.

Start living

( ripped off a mail )

the pursuit of happiness

There has been a question that has long intrigued me … What is happiness and where can I find happiness ? One might define happiness as a life without worries and hardships. But is there such a life ? Who in this world does not have worries ? Life loses its essence if there are no challenges in it. Life would be dull.

How do you feel when you are happy ? You feel like smiling ? You wish to scream with joy ? You feel like speaking about it to someone ? And you call all this happiness ? No.

What is happiness ? Leading a luxurious life, worrying every moment whether we might lose the luxury ? Or living a contented life ? Do you feel happy when you spend time with friends at huge malls or cinema ? Or are you happy when you play cricket with neighbourhood boys ? Are you happy when you do well in exams ? Are you happy when you are praised ? Do these give you true happiness ? No. These are just feigning happiness.

So now, where does the road to happiness end ?

I feel that happiness is derived from happiness. You feel happy when you make others feel happy. You feel happy when you see a smile in the face of the person in front of you. Happiness is the feeling that you have played a small part in helping the other person feel less burdened with worries. And helping people without expecting anything in return will automatically give you happiness in return.

Give the most you can to people who are around you. Live a life for yourself and for others.

Now what to give others ? Money or food or anything else that occupies volume can be given, but they aren’t the ones that give you happiness. Give the person something which no one else can give him/her. Give them YOUR affection. Share the sorrows of friends. Share their pain. Share their joy. Share their feelings. Be a part of them. They will surely be a part of your life for ever. What else is happiness… ?

Sometimes words can heal the wounds of the heart. Sometimes your eyes can heal them. Sometimes your touch. And sometimes your presence close by alone is sufficient. Sometimes your prayers will work wonders.

We all pray God that everyone must be happy. But being happy is in our hands. Live a life of affection and love. Be happy. Keep others happy. Happiness is a gift from God. And happiness is the best gift you can give anyone….

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude…”

-Denis Waitley